I can’t stop laughing long enough to kill you with love

This was brilliant. This entire day. The joke is finally one me. And Him. A Him I haven’t seen in too many years. Apparently years in which it’s become alright to talk to me you.. you… *laughter* Oh the closet! How I almost with you in the closet. Damn that Adamson for reading so well!  And I had so completly forgotten about the tent!! You don’t actually have the audio do you??

you’ve kissed me twice

Jeff, my , I can not begin to tell me what a gift this evening was. I’m sure for the both of us. In fact, all three of us. Do you think we had actually more fun, we three? How much of what we said was actually for anyone else?  ‘You-had-to-be-there’ delightful digging.

the first time was such a surprise. newton laughed at me for being so shocked, but I knew something you didn’t – don’t, nor he.

Today was to be the day we went swimming. We being Adrian, Michelle, the boy and I. We never saw Michelle, and there was no water in the pool, so we caught the bus downtown. The boy was fed with a parisian from Robson and Adrian with Thai on Davie. We got caught by the sketchbook fellow. He was disappointed Adrian hadn’t more money. I was disappointed Adrian had us caught.  

I’d never been kissed before.

Adrian had a convention to be at, and so he was sent off. Robin and I wandered journeyless up the block then down before I decided it was time to call Gavin. He was to meet us after the non-existant swim for coffee and conversation. If he had picked up the phone, it would have been a different day. It would have been less perfect, because as I hung up feeling like I was an idiot for not being suave when talking to machines, Rowan walked up. He had been walking to the bus-stop thinking in his head, “That girl has purple hair. I know someone who has new purple hair. I should go get a closer look for later comparison to Jhayne”. Robin had been installed in Golden Age, so we had plenty of time to chat whilst waiting for the Main St bus.

what were we even? why were we in front of your house just after the sun came up? I can’t even remember our wandering that night. where we did and what were we doing.

After we waxed eloquent on ethnicity and stereotypes, after you, Rowan brought out my vocabulary from where it has been hiding from my weekend jobroom children, we plucked the boy from the shop and walked for the skytrain. I had nothing to do until ten thirty this evening. Rowan had nothing to do until eight thirty and Robin never has anything to do but wander with me, so we walked. The train doors were open for long mintues and a voice crackled to life. “Problems at 22nd station are causing delays”. At Stadium, again the doors were open too long. Long enough for us to decide to quest for coconut buns in Chinatown. To Pender! To Pender!

the second time.  “Do I want to know how long you’ve wanted to do that?” I was again stilled inside. I wasn’t ready for  how much you unsettled me.

Derailing happened at Tinseltown, where there’s bubbletea and Dance Dance Revolution. The sight of a tall man with fur cap, accordian and russian beard was slightly too much for the Tinseltown crowd to miss and people were late to thier movies because they were stuck stopped to watch. I was rooted to the spot with delight. It was so perfectly surreal when the mind is used to seeing expert little oriental girls working hard the machines. Rowan swooped, he danced. He scored one point off perfect on all three songs. The bubbletea after was the icing on the cake.

It was the wrong thing to say or the wrong way to say it. I was shocked how much I wanted you to do it again. You scared me in how much I trusted you.

We walked along too late for pastry, though Rowans later date was an open mike at a german bakery. I considered taggin along, the invite was appreciated and tempting, but somehow didn’t sound properly like what I was to be doing. In finally reaching Main Street station, the answer was apparent: Jeff was there. Not only was he there, but only in chance had he turned his head to see us. He didn’t see me, but he saw Rowan. “Perfect timing! I just got off work.” “Oh yes, we’ve been walking back and forth here waiting for you. In fact, I was starting to get tired of all this pacing” “Shhhh, don’t tell him”.

I loved what I did to you today.

On the stairs, another person came along that was known. This time a friend of Rowans. Perfect timing, as Jeff going my route and she his. We threw Robin away home and then went on our way happy with chance and circumstance. It turned out that Jeff was on his way to a going-away party. I brought to point that I hadn’t anything to do until later and was invited along. We discussed  prudishness and my checkered past and his failed attempts at having a troubled childhood, which wrapped up just as were reached Edmunds. Our destination. 

I loved how we fell back into eachother. I knew you still. I know you still. How do we? Were you inside laughing too?

On the train I’d been warned to be nice. I was warned that I was going to a housefull of christians, how I would freak them out. I was warned that I might not be terribly welcomed. I assured him I knew me better than he did. In the parking lot, Jeff went straight for a truck. I thought, “oh wonderful. A truck. Christian in a pick-up. This is soo not going to be good.” Then as we rounded the vehicle, Jeff introduced me to the driver alone in the truck, and he says ” hey – this is my friend Jhayne – I ran into her on the skytrain and asked her along. Jhayne, this is Andrew”. “Pleased to meet you” In reply, his friend says “Jhayne – remember me? Andrew B”.

I take his hand and out from the depths of my honesty comes, “Andrew! Damn you!! You kissed me and never talked to me again you bastard!! How dare you! Do you have any idea how messed up I was over that??”

I loved that I did that to you.  I loved the expression on Jeff’s face. I loved how we dissolved into laughter. Do you think he was scandalized? I think he was as jolted as you were, but not as in on the joke. I loved that we knew eachother again in that moment. I can’t think of a more perfect way to meet again. I didn’t mean it completely when I asked if you knew how long I’d wanted to say that. It was as spontaneous as what sparked it.  As out of nowhere as that first time in the dawn.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *