we are all innocent

I’ve been listening to music today that was popluar when I was in highschool. How sobering to realize that it was so long ago. It’s a peculiar sort of feeling to be listening to songs that were huge five years ago. All the lyrics come rushing back to me with memories that I haven’t looked at in forever and a day. They make me think of writing and drawing on Garths ceiling and walking with Megan on the Seawall while she talked about Alex and how in love they were.

I can still sing along to Our Lady Peace and that makes me think of a girl from school who I rediscovered in the rave scene. She was living with Frankie and Johnathan and suddenly I realized just how warped that apartment was to spend time in. Ozzie laughing on the couch with Onyx and the sheer amount of chemicals. I slept on that couch the day after I met Triton for the second time. We’d failed in our hunt for the Full Moon Party after an SCA banquet. I met Crow there, and Aveloc and Mahliqua. Little Jeff had brought me, then discarded me at the table. I thought Triton was a small savior. Saving me from staying behind with all these people I wasn’t comfortable with, and the temptation of the man who kissed me so very well.

*click* Then another one of thier songs comes on and I remember walking through Douglas Park in the dark with Bryan and Marissa and being jealous that he’d managed to go to the concert. Being uncertain of my standing, because he was a liar, a brother, had a girlfriend, and yet wanted me to spend the dark with him. Marissa unconcerned with everything, just happy to be with us and stoned. *click*

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