How many Actors does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them. One to do it, and the rest to talk about how much better they could have done it.
How many Actors does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Just complain to the director at notes.
How many Actors does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Doesn’t the Stage Manager do that?
How many Actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. They can never find their light.
How many Stage Managers does it take to change a…..
Done.
How many Stage Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
I DON’T CARE!! JUST DO IT!!
How many Stage Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Where’s IATSE?
How many Stage Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s on my list….IT’S ON MY LIST…
How many Stage Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Pull the Technical Director off a set installation to deal with it.
How many Assistant Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But they have to check with the director first to make sure they want the bulb there.
How many Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Well….um….what do you think?
How many Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
I told you to twist it LEFT!
How many Lighting Techs does it take to change a light bulb?
Nothing happens on that @#$%ing side of the stage anyway!
How many Designers does it take to change a light bulb?
Does it have to have a light bulb?
How many Playwrights does it take to change a light bulb?
Change? Why does it have to change? No changes, it’s perfect just the way it is.
How many Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Give a note to the Stage Manager to fix it.
How many Technical Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Call the Master Electrician at home to fix it.
How many Master Electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
We don’t change light bulbs, only halogen lamps. It’s a props problem.
How many Prop Masters does it take to change a light bulb?
Light bulb? When did they even get a lamp?
How many Theatre Critics does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them. One to be highly critical of the design elements, one to express contempt for the glow of the lamp, one to lambaste the interpretation of the wattage used, one to observe the how trite the use of the light bulb was, one to critique the performance of the bulb itself, one to recall superb light bulbs of last seasons and lament how this one fails to measure up, and all to join in the refrain reflecting that on how they could build a better light bulb in their sleep.
How many Theatre Students does it take to change a light bulb?
Uh, what’s the deadline, ‘cause I may need an extension.
How many Audience Members does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to do it, one child to cry and one to say loudly “ROSE, HE’S CHANGING THE LIGHT BULB”
How many Interns does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t matter because you’ll have to do it again anyway.
How many Producers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Why do we need another light bulb?
How many IATSE Guys does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Once he puts down his coffee and donut.
How many IATSE Guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty-five. With a minimum of four hours…you got a @!%#&!* problem with that?
How many Lighting Designers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Where is my assistant?
How many high school Theatre students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. If they can find a lamp big enough and figure out how to get inside it.
How many Electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Lamp! It’s called a LAMP you moron!