sweet like a champion salf-hate case

Aww. I got a letter from the Ex today. I am very amused. It’s the kind of letter that let’s me use the term, so that’s neat. Never got to do that before. Everyone always leaves town. Well – the ones that count leave town. Me included.

I’ve been agonizing a week now about getting ahold of/getting together with you…
I won’t get into the details…
Every day contained hours of anxiety as I considered calling you… I wanted to explain it to you…

I finally got a computer up… It’s taken a bit of time to get through the mail…
I did some research tonight, prepping to contact you…
Reads to me like you’re fully engaged otherwise – no real surprise there.
The verious derogating comments concerning me do not promote my interest in communicating with you at all.

Having read what I’ve read, I have no further reason to appologize to you.


my reply:

*laughter* Researching calling me??? hahahahahahahahahahahah. Well – thank you for finally reading some of my journal, you know – almost a year into having it. Not, of course, that anyone on the outside terribly knows what the hell is going on in there these days, but that’s alright. No-one’s been commenting, but almost everyone’s been accusing me lately of being a writer, so I’m fairly confident that what I put in there isn’t a slog. What do you think of it? How far back have you been going?
It’s funny, because I’ve called you five times out of the last seven days and you’re never there. When someone picks up I leave a message. You were to call me!! I got pictures developed. Five rolls – all I had. If there’s any more rolls that you’ve got kicking about – I’ll get them done too, if you like. The place lost a roll of film, so now I get SUPER cheap developing. Most of them turned out utterly awful, but there’s a few okay ones. I look sort of like a cello rock princess just starting out in one or two, but OH! The painful bad gothyness! The “I’m putting my girlfriend naked in front of a camera”!! It’s cringeworthy. Anyhoo – come see!!

I love it when I’m less of a head-case than other people. *laughter* It gives me hope. I was chatting with people when I got the letter. Some of us looked for something derogatory, but we gave up. I went as far back as a month. In retrospect, I’m uncertain why I bothered. I think I’ve reached a point where it’s not my place – I don’t have to pander to anyone’s insecurites anymore. Hear, but I’m going to celebrate.

He can continue to only hear what he wants to, but I’m going to go out walking with people I think are wonderful, and you know? I feel simple again

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