Damn you Kerry! Set him on fire!

I’m sorry, but what the hell? Have I found a very carefully crafted parody of the Debates? This can’t be it. MSNBC’s been hacked. Well, maybe no. It’s suddenly dawning upon me that Bush is actually this.. well.. unintelligent. Bush is spouting catchphrases. Kerry at least isn’t coming across as a talking monkey who blinks too much, but HONESTLY! No-one so far has said anything!

It’s Hard Work. Troops. Honour. Iraq. Hunt and Kill Terrorists. Homeland Security. Protect America.
Bush Speaks In Headlines. Kerry talks with his hands.
Every question is answered by the same things.

I’m appalled. This is ridiculous. I want to be in a room full of people shouting at the television. First impression: Stupidity incarnate going up against disarming harmless fluffy hair. That, and Red VS Blue. (Look at thier ties). At least Kerry has a vocabulary. In comparison to Bush, he might seem a little too slick, but I imagine that anyone articulate might seem such when put in such a situation. Was there even one single question without the word terrorist in the answer?

What should happen is that whenever anyone obviously is spooling for time, a large man should come out and smack them with a wifflebat. No looking silently at your hands, no ‘ums’, ‘ers’ or ‘uh’. Hesitation and you get whapped. A bright yellow wifflebat. Oh! And buzzers. Big shiny red lights that shine on with a loud !BRAMP! whenever they say something like “negotiating with enemies is counterproductive”.

This hurts my brain.

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