my intended is leaving town

Just to make this week stupid, Evaristo is in town from New Zealand. I’m a bit in shock, I haven’t seen the boy in *sudden realization* three years? Holy hell. It’s been likely more than three years… He’ll be joining us at the Van Art Gallery this afternoon.

I’m going to be ‘single’ in a day or two. Unpredictable, my reaction. It’s certainly agreed upon that passion’s playing Dodo on my sorry bed. Decanted malleable love, it’s powerful stuff. I don’t miss wanting him. Especially this week, where underneath the bland happiness there’s a hollow inside of me where my words should be. My heart is filling with molten lead to weigh my breathing down, to thicken the blood with poison. Tonight I need to write. Take my time, demolish the world and write. It’s been terrifying me, my inability to place my hands on the keys to begin. I sit, I stay, and this comes out. Not what I need, not what I mean to say. Banal everyday, I love you too. I want words to flow of microchips and silver fingernails edged with ecstasy inducing hallucinogen. All the better to slice into the small of your back, all the better to peak your high. Dream me in blood, desire dearest. Take my lips to whisper, take my tongue to talk. I’d wear velvet for you, drape my legs across your thigh. Pale like moonlight, white like the inside shell of the purest egg. Hatching machines like monsters that tease the inside of your skin like a thousand drifting feathers. Monofilament flash glitter in my eyes. I’m going to have you. Just You Wait.

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