I’m outside, trying not to look down the road too intently. There’s cars sweeping past, but only your headlights will crest the hill. I’m happy because I know you’re there in the dark behind the wheel. This is going to be the last time I wait for you, same as last time. It’s raining a little and I like how the lights scythe through the water, creating the illusion of something solid. You took me by surprise last time with the roses. A perfect movie moment and I hated you. You gave your life to that church, how could I respect that? You and your holiness. Glowing hands after dark, letting me see what my flesh felt like under your hands. The tracers were sexy, visible trails from your tongue, but I didn’t want you as a Saint. I wanted you as Mine, not theirs, every whisper and caress. I cried when it was time to drive the nails in.