Recieved my very first naughty internet solicitation this week, (thank you Myspace). It’s rather specific:
“I would do anything you ask if you made me your bitch. You could do anything and everything you wish to me, anything for your pleasure. I would love to obey your every command and serve your every whim. I would love to crawl to you and kiss your feet, and beg for the pleasure and honor of serving you. It would give me no greater pleasure then to be dominated by you and do everything that you command. Please let me serve you, please make me your bitch.
I beg to serve you Goddess, I will do whatever you wish. For the honor of smelling and kissing you feet I will do anything you ask of me Goddess.”
His profile tells me that “he” is a 24 year old Virgo living in Richmond. Great. A local. Fab. I would suspect he has no idea how often I wander around the city without any shoes on. I doubt there’s much sexy left when the soles of my feet are black.
Anyone have any clever answers for him?
No matter that I’m a million useful things, it’s entirely outside my areas of expertise. My first reaction is to go over it with an evil red pen. “I understand that you may have been a little excited while writing your letter, but possibly it should read: I beg to serve you COMMA Goddess PERIOD I will do whatever you wish for the honor of smelling and kissing youR feet PERIOD I will do anything you ask of me COMMA Goddess.”