Terry and I went to a bar Saturday evening and I couldn’t help but notice a young couple in the window, the way his blond hair shone in the brief sunlight and how the semaphore of her laughter sat in his lap so well. I watched them until I realized I was not actually envious, then turned away, feeling irony pinch. I continue to believe, it is only base perversity that I forget myself so well. (A very human thing). My hand slipped into my pocket and held my watch, strengthening my resolve, a hard chord underneath my fine-tuned determination that has everything to do with respect, loves and unquestionable fascination, and I fell back into conversation without missing a beat. I only mention it because the moment took me so strongly from myself. Who was I before that I could be taken over so easily?
Matching fact: The original drummer from Sonic Youth was the guy who played the mustachioed parking attendant in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
With Spring, I’m having to learn how to be social again. My skills have become a monument of rust, crusted with disuse, surrounded by willow trees and puffy curls of bouncy barbed wire. I’ve been too busy with theatre business, crawling finances and finding my next meal. Facebook, shamefully, has been helping, shaping an upcoming calendar of events as well keeping me in contact with people I otherwise would have neglected, overcome instead by the day to day static of living, but it’s more a reminder page than an actual map of action. Instead, I am curious, what is everyone doing these days? I was swallowed by winter, covered by a blanket of red tape, lost in a hedgerow maze of numbers and paperwork, barely able to poke my nose out to say hello unless you tracked me down or lived downtown. Tomorrow Steph plays her first night at Organix, a night I worked for six years ago, Saturday Silva has her yard-sale and there’s a BBQ over at Aaron’s that I’m considering going to, (though I won’t do it alone, I know that much), and then Sunday I do my time at the Dance Centre again, another week over and beginning.
Also: Pre-muppets, Jim Henson used to create philosophy themed experimental television shows.
Last week I sent out various small packages to various precious people, and have been getting a multitude of fun responses in return. More went out than have been commented on, as of yet, but I hope everything will safely find their homes. If you either have yet to receive something or would like to, toss me a comment or send me your address.