“I scrub the sharp edge off my appetite.”

Go forward and forward by Ryohei Hase

Perhaps I should be ashamed, says the back of my brain, as I reach out for reciprocity. Perhaps I should fall down, check myself in to the lost and found, say there peacefully until claimed. Kick my heels, properly tagged, next to a small box of forgotten apples, two overdue library books, a rain ruined Klimpt print, and wait.

This part of my brain is obviously insane.

Instead, when I am nervous, I want them to be nervous too. I wish us to match like a pair of jittery, colourful addictions, ready to dribble words the way a cork pops from bottle of something bubbly, ballistic and driven, dangerous in the wrong hands. I want us to assume and feel unsafe doing so, to tinker, to rewrite boundaries like history and we’re the last ones standing. I want to be saturated in it, that understanding, that shared, halting drive, the cartilage landscape of unknown territory. Feel the certainty of it swelling in my chest, devouring my entrenched dragons of well trained doubt, dispelling the honeymoon aura of dread, and trust where I stand enough to take root in the sediment we’ve accrued, tall as a birch, as practically imperishable as the same.

It’s primitive how I find the discovery of shared fear to be soothing. It triggers something deeper than sleep, more important than the shape of bones under skin, like being able to see the basic geometry of need, the invisible pillars upon which we build our waking dreams. I am reassured instantly as somewhere in my genes a fatal desire to know is fed. Such moments are a gift for which I do not know how to say thank you. They remind me of fire escapes in the same way they represent a way down from a burning building to solid ground. Effective, quaint, and incredible.

Uninterrupted chain by Ryohei Hase

I’m going to the secret film club tonight, we’re showing

Cross-posted by request, via Duncan:

“I know this guy and he puts on an incredible show. Also, I’ll be guest-starring for a short portion of it. Sorry for the short notice and the expensive ticket but if you feel like catching some theater this week, this would be a good place to go.”

The Amazing and Impermeable Cromoli Brothers Present: HELLO VANCOUVER!
A Vaudeville Act for These, Our Modern Times.
Tuesday, Feb 3, 9 pm, at Performance Works

Fifteen vignettes including Heaven’s Gate Webcam, Dear Mary I’m in a Gang Now, Cover Song, Nude Beach, Pilot Talk, Olympic A Go Go and more!
Songs performed on ukulele, melodica and glockenspiel!

Winner of the BEST COMEDY award at the New Zealand International Fringe Festival
Written and performed by Lucas Myers with Special Guests


Me, I am poor as poor does, so I’m going to be attending the Secret Film School tonight, (which is free), where Kryshan is showing the silliest movie in existence, The Forbidden Zone. “A freak musical that manages to synthesize ingredients of virtually every other midnight hit into the cheerful consistency of bad-taste vaudeville.” -Jonathan Rosenbaum.

Here’s Kryshan’s bravely attempted description,

“Forbidden Zone is hard to describe without making it sound completely ridiculous…okay, it is completely ridiculous, but it’s the best kind of ridiculous, a one-of-a-kind act of unrestrained creativity. This guilty pleasure cult classic is about a sado-masochistic midget (Herve Villechaize from Fantasy Island) ruling an alternate dimension with Susan Tyrell (Fat City), also featuring Satan (played by composer Danny Elfman of The Simpsons, Batman, and Beetlejuice), frog men, human chandeliers, headless boys, babbling twins, Monty-Python-esque animation and a lot more weirdness where that came from. Forbidden Zone has the visionary logic (illogic?) of a Max Fleischer cartoon (meets-Tim-Burton-meets-John-Waters-meets-Betty-Boop…). It’s a midnight-movie-musical-romance-farce-science-fiction-fantasy-fairy tale-animation/live action hybrid explosion with an incredible soundtrack by Elfman’s band The Mystical Knights Of The Oingo Boingo and…okay, I’m giving up trying to describe it..