Day: July 31, 2008

are they even trying anymore?

Please compare:

Telegraph UK: George Bush surprised world leaders with a joke about his poor record on the environment as he left the G8 summit in Japan. The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.” He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.

The Onion: At a special Earth Day event Sunday, Vice President Dick Cheney inhaled his first-ever breath of oxygen. “I am…proud to stand before you today and…breathe in the same gas used by…millions of Americans,” said a wheezing and gasping Cheney, whose body is accustomed to compounds of chlorine and sulfur dioxide. “One breath, however, is enough for me. I’m glad the stuff will be out of the atmosphere forever in a few decades.” Cheney then left the press conference to attend a cardiac health awareness dinner, where he feasted on human hearts.

next stop: hell (I’m planning to grayhound to Katie’s wedding in September)

CBC: Man stabs and decapitates sleeping passenger aboard Greyhound bus in Manitoba

“Garnet Caton, who was sitting in the seat in front of the victim, said he saw the attacker stab his seatmate, a young man sleeping with his headphones on. Caton said he heard a “blood-curdling scream” and turned around to see the attacker holding a large “Rambo” hunting knife above the victim, “continually stabbing him in the chest area.” “He must have stabbed him 50 times or 60 times,” said Caton.

CNN: “Everybody got off the bus. Me and a trucker that stopped and the Greyhound driver ran up to the door to maybe see if the guy was still alive or we could help or something like that,” Caton told CNN. “And when we all got up, we saw that the guy was cutting off the guy’s head. … When he saw us, he came back to the front of the bus, told the driver to shut the door. He pressed the button and the door shut, but it didn’t shut in time, and the guy was able to get his knife out and take a swipe at us,” Caton said.”