Month: May 2004

Twenty minutes of putting together a post of the pictures from the birthday party and Adrians puter eats it. *growls* That having been said, onwards anew!

I’ve been going through pictures today. There’s been a few heavy on the shutter days that needed to be sifted through. The birthday ones are pretty amusing. They’re all a bit dark, but I like particularly how the wood panel walls of the house make a few of them look like fashion photography.

what will all the pretty girls wear at all tomorrows parties

Two objects at equal distance
Acting as if they care
Does weight follow mass in this instance?
Oh, E equals MC squared

Tomorrow I go in for X-rays. I’m beginning to be warily familiar with that shielded room. I’ve been told you’re not supposed to be able to feel them, so perhaps sometime I’ll learn to not feel that hot flash when it hits me. That under a second split moment of burn. Suddenly feeling skin in sun for too long next to a window. I’m not looking forward to the cold metal table or the heavy pad that sits uncomfortably on the chest and belly. There is a particular whirr in the darkness that’s unpleasant. Lying cold on the chilly table in the halfdark room with someone cowering behind a halfwall.  Perhaps I’ll luck out with a bit of sterility. “Here are your bones and the eggs we’ve killed.”

Part of me imagined the crinkle in the corner of your eyes when you smiled into the phone. I could hear it. Me, here, writing about you again. This mystery man that I only picture certain parts of. Your eyes because that’s what I see of you when I look up from your chest. I can see your hands as well, how they’re such a different colour than mine, so much more interestingly sculpted. I used to watch my hands when I was little. My fingers so much longer than my palm. Hours of driving in a van with only so much patience for staring out the window at trees. I would frame the world whisking by on the endless road that we lived on. Flirtations of elegant angles copied from nature. I remember once trying to stand like a tree while my mother at the wheel took corners on the highway that knocked me over. My father was asleep in the front seat and it was so dark, I couldn’t see the plywood floor my white hands caught me on. Only the glow of the tapering fingers and flesh.

Now that my fingers fit, I don’t like my hands half so much.

I haven’t hung up yet. I’m typing this letter by letter, slowly, mostly with one of these hands. I want to know where you grew up, what your favorite flavour of ice-cream was when you were five. If oblique is a compliment or an acknowledgement of perhaps how I’m trying to hide in plain view of everyone who reads this.

You’re asleep now, or on the edge of it. As I am as well getting up tomorrow I should try to dream too.

Anyone up for flying a kite Monday??

I love how I throw myself into peoples lives. I love even more how they let me. I love how it doesn’t even occur to me that my behaviour isn’t exactly average until afterwards. I meet a person and just continue, sweeping them into anything. You! Practically stranger! Could you just reach for me and undo my bra-strap? Thanks! I will treat you as if we have known eachother for years! Later on I will notice and puzzle over why on earth you let me get away with any of it!

Later on I will think about a lot of things, but perhaps that’s the chocolate talking.

My birthday was wonderful. So many people there only because I asked them to! Thank you ever so much to everyone! And gosh! I got presents! I’m somehow missing my antique velvet carrot now, but hopefully it will appear unharmed. I planned on taking the Wright Brothers kite out this evening, though without company, I may do it tomorrow. Who’s up for kites in the park tomorrow afternoon?? How about you sir? This newfangled device will change our longstale world!
The fudge is lurking at me, thank you Aiden. After that cake and pie, I can’t believe I’m looking at it as something edible. That pie was made of orgystarter! chocolate that makes you press your thighs together a moment and smile There’s more of it left, by the way – I’m certainly not eating it when Adrians home – so if anyone’s planning a seduction…

Work was again today. I’m just finishing up the boards now, where the kids post. Some of the messages just reverberate with loneliness. Pre-teens posting songlyrics and claiming it’s thier poetry for a bit of attention. It’s not something I’ve ever done, but I can feel it. I can see what’s underneath it. I feel like finding them and curling them into my lap and holding them. Telling them when they get older they will meet people who like them. To just hold out, one day they’ll get a birthday.

*excitey* I’ve been calling all the important folk who didn’t appear at the door last night. Wonderful people from I can’t remember when because I’m too giggling now. All of my favorite humans! AND they’ve been answering thier phones!

(wierdlittletalkingsticks, whousesthesethingsanymoreanyways)

I’m setting up times to see people this week I haven’t seen in an age. Michelle Chattaway and I are going for Gelati, I’m going to have a time with Silva, and Mishka’s coming over from Victoria just to spend time.

I’m going to go out on a limb and keep calling people.

Thank you to Aiden, Adrian, Andrew, Chris (with girl), Dan, Dan Ellingson, Dominique, Dominique’s sister, Ethan, Ian, Irma, James, Jenn, Kia, Mike, Peter, Rob Hauscht, Robin, Shane, Sophie, and Vicki for showing up.

Even more kudos to those who made it through an entire piece of that cake.

Who am I leaving out?? I’m dreadfully tired and I’m trying to get this down before my head falls off.

   

It’s 6 am and I’ve returned home. I had jellybeans for breakfast and have been running soley off sugar for a considerable number of hours now. Tomorrow will happen after sleep occurs. For now I am still in yesterday. There were a couple of people I was sad to not see, but they were very very few. The number of people was startling, to say the least. As were the presents. The unveiling of the conspiracy was a bit of a topper.

I’m getting new eyes.

thank you

FIFTEEN MINUTES TO FREEDOM! I love my job. We’re talking about kitty cats and bunny rabbits. I’m thinking for irony’s sake I’m going to bring up rainbows and lollipops. *grins*

Soon to the party!

*shock*

ow ow ow. note to self : never ever again attempt to lick molten chocolate.

I just recieved my e-birthday wishes from Dan Ellingson. (“A good pun..is worth it’s own..reword” (Stolen) )

Quote:
——————————————————————————–
Happy Birthday

JB:
(singng)
Birthday Birthday Birthday for you
It’s hard to believe another year is through

Slipping through the mists of time
Cosmic traveler with mirror eyes
Does appear from the queen, his mother’s thighs
Blood slick and with purple skin
The babe does emerge from her vagina within
While the mother screams like a witch; like a bitch
Happy Birthday

(spoken)
Stare into the cold light of life
You will see it again
You will see it again

Chorus:
(singing)
And what is this cold dark world
Upon whose shores I’m so rudely thrust
Glov-ed hand of the mad man delivers a smack
Unkind, Unjust
continued