“The worst sin – perhaps the only sin – passion can commit, is to be joyless.” – Dorothy Sayers

… and I wish you were here to remove the pins from my hair the same way I wish you were here to drown out your absence with your voice. With every pin, I remember the delicate sweep of your fingerprints, the wry look of your eyes laughing at my terrible jokes, and layer it into every moment we’ve said I love you and I miss you, when we’ve really meant come home, as if home were our flesh meeting instead of a place, our foreheads together, hands twined, all of ourselves an ornate, whimsical Escher arabesque spelling out contentment, where were you? or yes.

he also makes pretty pictures

An excerpt example of reason eight million five thousand and fourty three why I’m not-so-secretly sideways a little bit in love with my friend Kevin, who I am pleased to say I licked once on the side of the head:

So we get to set early and Reel EFX are overseeing the first segment of the show (Fire vs. Ice) One kid on a snow maker and the other on a flame thrower doing the whole “Woo-Hoo Awesome!” thing. But the kid on the flamethrower keeps complaining that “Oh…It’s HOT, It’s HOT… And we’re all thinking “Kid….you’re 16 and you’re getting to set off a flamethrower. No one bitches when you get to set off a flamethrower. Ever. It’s a fundamental principle. There are 5 billion flamethrowerless children in the world who would trade spots with you this very second. Have some respect….”

with a warm, profound affection


Kyle is one of the people in my life who has influenced me the most in the past year, encouraging me, picking up when I’ve fallen, and always inspiring me with his brilliant, infectious good nature, continually reminding me that the world is not always a fight, that to strive can be to succeed, and that sometimes everything really is all going to be alright. I’ve only met him once in person, (though it’s in the game plan to do so again, and again, and as many times as I can), when he and Jennifer were in Seattle for a wedding, and it felt like a gift to be with them, not only to finally visit, but to witness their incredible and utter devotion, one of the most perfect things I have ever been blessed to see. They are beautiful together, enchantment multiplied, and the light that shines off them is blinding. It is my great and fervent desire to one day be so happy and I will forever adore them for leading the way, showing what it possible, and thriving.

Congratulations you two, I wish you well and I love you, even from all the way over here.

some ages are easier than others

Watching him through the partially closed balcony screen, he is beautiful, pensive, sitting with a cigarette, uncertain what he needs to say next. His gestures as he smokes are familiar, the slow, absent dance of the resigned to fate. (I am a comfortable witness.) In his head, he is silently writing a letter as he stares into space, turned inward, performing and rehearsing how to say goodbye. to my dear friends and family… He is new to this, but competent, and I expect him to survive.

(In my memory a day not quite the one before, myself in a mirror, comforting, holding a man through almost similar things.)

We fall asleep wrapped in the couch before the letter is sent, our heavy limbs a knot of courage as well as care, though his writing was finished by midnight, (a time significant only in passing, like a fallow attempt of a traditional childhood’s magic spell), marking like a hammer blow one of the last indivisible links in this particular chore.

dressing red as candy blood

Tonight at the Anza Club! Springtime Lullabye!
Jess Hill’s costume party music video debut!

“It’s true! As of yet there has been but a whisper in the wind of the coming of wonderful things. The magic people are busying themselves excitedly with the creation of an evening of dream and inspiration, song, poetry, burlesque, and decor. Minds, bodies, and spirits will then make a dream come true as we raise funds for the production of Jess Hill’s upcoming album: Orchard.”

doors at 8, show at 9. tickets $10 at the door.
Lullabye’s start at 9pm sharp. So don’t be late.

The night will feature la musique of Jess Hill, Tarran the Tailor, Maria in the Shower, CJ Leon, Chelsea Johnson, and Sneetch, burlesque performances by the fine feathered ladies in Booty Burlesque and the one and only Rad Juli, and mad poetics by The Svelte Ms. Spelte and RC Weslowski.

The theme is dreamland so do please let your imagination dress you. After all anything goes, it’s your dream.


Jess Hill: Hauntingly beautiful, the shadow singing with her crows, the blond-haired, blue-eyed, guitar-riffing sweetheart of East Van, Jess Hill will be playing with her band The Dreams of All and Sundry featuring arrangements for strings by Aaron Joyce and electro-acoustic foley artist Lee Hutzulak.

Tarran the Tailor: An enchanter of hearts, eyes, hips, and toes Tarran combines boombox and banjo to cast Cajun-style charms on his enraptured audiences. His organic beats seem a perfect fusion of musical technologies from the past, the future, and the land of East Van.

Maria in the Shower: A fascinating troupe of soul-singing mimes! Their engaging performances mix theatre and cabaret, horn and voice, musicianship and character into an unforgettably ecstatic happening.

CJ Leon: Clever as a crow with cadaver in his throat, CJ is bleaker and funnier than Hell with classical guitar accompaniment.

Chelsea Johnson: Soulful and true, when she rocks the mic, the world rocks too.

There will also be performances by the folk = fun act Sneetch, the hot and fiery Booty Burlesque, the naturally Rad Juli, the scarecrow prophet of East Van The Svelte Ms. Spelte, and surrealist poet and the current Vancouver Poetry Slam Champion RC Weslowski.

also, we’re going to san fransisco in july

Long exposure Roomba path, by http://signaltheorist.com. (More from other people on Flickr.)

Nicole was hit by lightning this week.

Sarah is finally convacating with a Bachelors of Arts degree.

Tracey has just become finally engaged to her Edward, and they’re to be married in August.

Tony brought me to see Circus Contraption last weekend and it was so beautiful as beautiful does that it shattered me into a better person. I cried, watching it, as the experience shook my heart in my chest.

Horribly, painfully, (how could they), after eleven years of perfecting their incorrigible circus, they’re shutting down at the end of May, so, as Tony said, “if you are in Seattle the next couple of weekends (or can be so) and have yet to see any Circus Contraption show (or have seen them before) then make every effort possible to see one of the last shows that this exquisite troupe will ever be doing.”

We’re going again on the 23rd with as many people as we can.

Dee, (in town from Montreal), is coming, as is Nick Eddy, and maybe Rafael. Are you? Please say yes.

ps. I need need a place for my mum to stay in Seattle that weekend. Anyone have a spare couch/bed/room?