With this post, I am officially calling dibs on Oren Lavie.

Soon she’s down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up
Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

Today, using addresses given to me by friends on the internet, I prepared and mailed tiny packages to London, Seattle, Atlanta, Brooklyn, Carolina Beach, Herts, Cambria, Dumfries, Burlington, Urbana, Roanoke, Phoenix, and Manhattan. A fine spread, beautiful evidence of the far reaching influence of modern communication.

I sat in a puddle of white envelopes at the park, addressing them, tipping ingredients into one, and then into another, slipping cards into each, slipping in cards, rose petals, and my smile, wishing I had through to bring more tiny plastic dinosaurs. The sky was almost like summer today, except too pale, as if seen through a film of soap.

Curious pedestrians would stop and ask what I was doing, wanted to know if this was a business I had, sending interesting letters to strangers. I told them this was far too bare bones, that I was too poor to be anything but kind in a nostalgic way. “People have trusted me, wouldn’t you want to reward such behavior?” This seemed to satisfy as, once I said that, they would gently walk away, glad to have asked, but not interested enough to stay.

just now in the hall: sudden alarm -> woman’s voice, startled, “fuck you” -> angry high heels

Mockingbirds mastered police sirens
and now the city is on edge.
Grinding their teeth at night, the people
send out their swollen moans to the powerlines.
Their dreams are troubled, a caravan of trolls
bedding down, picking their yellow teeth
with a white chip of bone.

The people are no less uneasy in the morning rain,
when no birds sing. When lumpy blue clouds
gather outside like flies’ eyes.
When a house is pounded by rain and for the first time they hear
how small it really is.

-Matthew Rohrer

The fire alarm testing men are in my building today, setting off pitch tones that sound precisely like clarinet. A perfect G. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It continually throws me from whatever I am doing, as I unconsciously flex my knowledge, remembering precisely how to match that note on the french horn. My coworker and I take up the keen, pretending to be conductors, tapping our screens, singing “me me me me” in wavering, high pitched fake voices. Oh orchestra, you never truly leave me.

Sitting nervously in a long black skirt, in the only white shirt I owned, back row, trading filthy jokes with the percussion, trying to keep the note while leaning forward to turn the next page, placidly counting bars, keeping the time with only one toe, 1-2-3-4 2-2-3-4 3-2-3-4 4-2-3-4, too short to quite see past the trombone.

(Still faultlessly memorized: all the fingering to The British Grenadiers).

It was an incomplete time for me. Feeling my instrument, this apparently difficult thing, was easy, a skill smooth and uncreased, but disliking who I played with and the musical choices made. Perhaps if I was with a different group, I would have taken to music more, but there are a lot of possibilities every day, and these few, taken as a group, to do with my instrument, are no more or no less than a vague irritation brought on by the hum, the pitch tone hum, of the sad, steady keen of the fire alarm.

The insect’s flight path can be wirelessly controlled via a neural implant.

The Army’s Remote-Controlled Beetle:

A giant flower beetle with implanted electrodes and a radio receiver on its back can be wirelessly controlled, according to research presented this week. Scientists at the University of California developed a tiny rig that receives control signals from a nearby computer. Electrical signals delivered via the electrodes command the insect to take off, turn left or right, or hover in midflight. The research, funded by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), could one day be used for surveillance purposes or for search-and-rescue missions.

The beetle’s payload consists of an off-the-shelf microprocessor, a radio receiver, and a battery attached to a custom-printed circuit board, along with six electrodes implanted into the animals’ optic lobes and flight muscles. Flight commands are wirelessly sent to the beetle via a radio-frequency transmitter that’s controlled by a nearby laptop. Oscillating electrical pulses delivered to the beetle’s optic lobes trigger takeoff, while a single short pulse ceases flight. Signals sent to the left or right basilar flight muscles make the animal turn right or left, respectively.

I love living in the future, it’s just. so. neat!

See also: Growing neural implants, first successful robot fly.

having a long day

A burnt out electronica kind of day. Every one of my steps seems to synch with something, even the rain, while the clouds upside seem stitched onto the sky in fast forward, a time lapse capture of crumpled white. The lights shift at the corner with an audible click.

Things are shifting in my home. As the rhythms finally arrive, so we drift apart. David’s finally on the dole, which helps us, but not him. At my insistence, he’s finally begun talking to me, what we worry is that it might be too late. What we worry is that he’ll fall to far inside his head to ever climb out. I am doing my best to wait, but my best is a shaky thing made of fragile days. I feel abandoned underwater, under pressure. Words catch in my throat, ready to burst out as an explosion of pain at the slightest thing.

I find myself awake in the middle of the night, my cheeks wet, with no clear explanation for either fact.

My warm core today is made entirely out of Saturday moments cut up and punctured, clipped together like magazine pictures, inspiration to reference for later. Curled in my seat in Waterfront Theater, singing along to a pop song famous when I was born, recognizing the lines I helped write on stage. Sweet treats of contemplation, pop culture, and intrinsic appreciation. How much has stayed the same, in spite of change. Johnathan’s daughter is in Kindergarten now, he says. I haven’t seen her since her fist was the size of my eye. The soothing song of machines.

Leningrad Siege: Now and Then (history like ghosts)

via EnglishRussia:

“The Siege of Leningrad, also known as The Leningrad Blockade was an unsuccessful military operation by the Axis (Nazi) powers to capture Leningrad (now Saint Petersburg) during World War II. The siege lasted from September 9, 1941, to January 27, 1944, when a narrow land corridor to the city was established by the Soviets. The total lifting of the siege occurred on January 27, 1944. The Siege of Leningrad was one of the longest and most destructive sieges of major cities in modern history and it was the second most costly.” – from Wikipedia.

Photos by Sergei Larenkov. More here.

for his sake I hope he was kidnapped by aliens

365 2009: 28.01.09
365 2009: 28.01.09

My lovely friend Mark, who I hold dear like hardly anyone else, has been standing me up this month. Yes. Month. First we ran into each other on the street and decided that Sunday! We will get together Sunday. He will make me dinner and play me music he wrote and it will be a lovely time. Then Sunday came and when I called, he had to cancel. Cousins unexpectedly in from out of town, he said. Ah! I said, that is unfortunate and completely understandable. Wednesday, he said? And I said yes. Then on Wednesday, I did not hear from him and when I called, it went directly to voice mail. Wednesday passed without him. Thursday night I got a call, "Migraine," he said. Ah! I said, again, that is unfortunate and completely understandable. I hope you are doing better. I am, he said, let me make it up to you on Sunday. Alright, I said. Sunday then. When Sunday rolled around, he called again. Jhayne, he said, you are going to hate me. What has happened now? I asked. Band practice. An accidental double-booking. Ah! I said, again, that is unfortunate and completely understandable. Wednesday? Wednesday. Now it is Wednesday and I still have not heard from him, though I have left two messages on his phone. The latest one was very amused, "Now you owe me dinner without question. I am going to put this on my calendar, The Month I Did Not See Mark. Then I will write a short story called The Month I Did Not See Mark and publish it. I think it will sell. It’s a good title."

Making the impending mayhem official

Cross-posted from the ever sassy Cherie, cat mother, darling friend, and author extraordinaire:

paranormal_bender_tour Mario Acevedo (Jailbait Zombie), Mark Henry (Road Trip of the Living Dead), Caitlin Kittredge (Second Skin), and Cherie Priest (Fathom) are cruising the west coast (Las Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Portland) for five evenings of witches, vamps, shapeshifters, zombies and all things weird. Just look for the classic Impala and listen for the questionable content, as the authors read choice selections from their latest works, bandy about prizes, and sign their new releases.

The Paranormal Bender Tour is for mature audiences only –- though an immature sense of humor is welcome and even encouraged. So bring your fangs, your cauldrons, and your appetite for brains. This is a night for kindred spirits and killer stories, from the demented minds of four of the most twisted purveyors of paranormal fiction (and a few special guests).

Think you’re brave enough to attend the Paranormal Bender Tour?

Mark, Cherie, Caitlin and Mario are terrorizing the population in the following urban areas:

    March 11th: Las Vegas • Clark County Library, Jewel Box Theater @ 7 PM
    March 13th: San Diego • Mysterious Galaxy @ 7 PM
    March 14th: Los Angeles • Dark Delicacies @ 2 PM
    March 15th: San Francisco • Borderlands @ 7 PM
    March 16th: Portland • Powell’s Beaverton @ 7 PM

part of this is real

When she danced, I fell in love all over again. The handles fall off my doors, leaving me open as my skin to her hands, as the keys I carry in my eyes click my locks open, letting her in. She could reach in past my ribs, stain her fingers on my blood, and all I could do is lean in. I am a massacre before her, astronomical, strained, prostrate. Her fingers spell my name…. Okay. Sorry. I have to stop writing a moment. There is a freaking dragon in the elevator. I can hear it. Banging. My co-workers can hear it. It is there and getting closer. ….

(The maroon beret is the international symbol of elite airborne forces.)

RECEIVED AT EIGHTEEN THIRTY:

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