letting the cat out of the bag for a trip around the block

Shane Koyczan
Promotional photo for Shane Koyczan.
  • ChatRoulette Love Song: speed dating done right.

    Arron took me on a driving lesson the other day, all the way from Home Depot to Metrotown, the farthest I’ve ever gone in a car. I suspect he found it vaguely terrifying, but given my lack of experience, I think I did rather well. No one died, nothing got wrecked, and I finally found myself okay with driving at more than 30 km/hour. I had been vaguely concerned that driving his truck would be somehow scarier than the little car I had been learning in with Young Drivers of Canada, (bigger equals more dangerous), but instead I discovered that though I disliked the hugeness of the thing, (the amount of space it takes up is slightly ridiculous), my years of living in a truck have apparently made me significantly more comfortable sitting higher up. It feels more natural being able to look down at other vehicles, rather than up at them. I blame my mother and her addiction to vans. Also, not dealing with a clutch meant that I stopped mixing up the pedals, so that was a victory, too. The best one, probably. Notes: remembering to check blind spots, figuring out how much space is actually required to change lanes. (Hint: significantly less than I think).

  • Little Wheel: a sweet, beautiful art game involving robots.

    I had a try-out day of work with Agentic yesterday, the web development company I’ve been interviewing with that I rather like. It was a very relaxed time, some easy work in a nice environment, surrounded by quiet, friendly people, not stressful at all. I was mostly left to myself, just me and a desk and a small pile of simple tasks. It was only after, during my gentle walk home, that I started feeling worried I wouldn’t get the job, as if my body had saved up all my concerns for later, tucked away in a bottom drawer of my heart until it was deemed safe to let them out. Silly, in a way, as it is out of my hands now. Everything left to do is on their side – talking to my references, deciding which candidate to hire, then calling us with the decision. (I was told they’ll let me know no later than Monday.) In the meantime, all I can do is wait and cross my fingers that I am what they need. It would be great to work in a positive environment again. I’m tired of spending time in offices where you can tell that everyone there wishes they weren’t.

  • Mills & Boon: self-portraits that mimic the covers of romance novels.

    My others news: Lung and I are finally starting a photography business together, Fox-Rain Wedding Photos. We’ve been talking about it for years, but the timing was never quite right. This time, however, I’ve already kludged together a solid rough draft of our website that I plan to take live in the next few days, before he leaves for California next week, and hope to get some sort of quick logo nailed down by the end of today, the better to toss on business cards asap. Neither one of us is particularly flush at the moment, so start-up money is tight, but I’ve done my research and I’m not only certain we can do this on the cheap, I’m absolutely confident we’ll succeed. If we can get everything together quick enough, things could even be up and running by the end of the month. Expect us at a tacky wedding fair near you, soon! We’ll be the people who don’t suck.

  • the heart’s device

    Persephone Lied.

    Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I’ll meet you there.

    ~ Rumi

    Fuel for thought: accomplishments. I’m tearing my apartment apart, chucking as much of it out the door as possible, pulling my layered life into pieces and discarding everything that isn’t essential. I’m not certain what I’m looking for, except that I know it’s time to change.

    I’m considering taking an aerialist refresher course, shredded shoulder or no, and I’m taking my learners test this week. I expect to pass. Anyone got a car they’re willing let me lurch around a parking lot? Cars don’t make the same sense as motorcycles. My ignorance on how to make an automatic go is irking me, a symptom of the far more complicated and significant impetus that’s suddenly taken me.

    The last few years, I’ve been complacent, too busy keeping my head above water to do more than fight to survive – it’s time to be something other than tired. The theatre is continuing to tick along quietly, which is good, but the operative word is quietly. Right now it’s only words on paper shuffling between investors, lawyers, and their accountants. Vapourware, nothing that feels real, radio silence slowly driving me batty. Nothing that blows up the sky. I need more of that spark.

    In keeping with my approach for change, if you would like some interesting life detritus which otherwise would go to Value Village or kids in a park, send me your mailing address and I’ll see what I can do about spreading the love.

    (Google Ads has given a friend the following headlines to go with one of my email: “Did He Break Your Heart?” “Improv, Acting & Writing” “LifeGem Memorial Diamonds” “Heal From Your Break Up”.)