I shan’t admit


091705-021
Originally uploaded by aeillill.

My suppositions were correct, the power supply had popped, and now we’ve got my machine plugged into Andrew‘s. We’re crowded on his bed, clearing big chunks of tasty media off my hard-drive onto various sized discs. When James left me his machine, he left it filled to the brink with wonderful films and brilliant programs. There is almost nothing it isn’t capable of, if I had the skills to take advantage of it or or if it had a damned power supply. Ah well. Tomorrow such problems will be fixed. I have breakfast in the morning with Matthew, which will lead into our mutual appointment with Sarah and drop me off at the lunch reservations I made for my mother‘s birthday.

He tells me he loves me when I say goodbye on the phone. There has never been a voice so sad as mine in my heart when I cradle the reciever back in its plastic bed. I don’t say it back, what need? I am branching, my arms boughs, my fingers as twigs. Someone has offered to teach me to float glass like air in my palms, like dreams. I want to. These lips are remembering his eyes and hair. I feel my Saturday as a wondrous thing. The Party Not Starring Peter Sellers was exquisite. The bit with Chris, at least, he is magic incarnate, and Crystal does things with two sets of tassels that defy the imagination. I won a dance contest while in a corset, though I will never attempt such a thing again. I felt like dying for fifteen minutes after. The rest of it was fairly basic, but enjoyable nonetheless. I reacquainted myself with lost theatre people, Terry, Jacques, darling Chris, and I finally met Bill’s wife ma’am. I touched her stomach where his child is brewing. I saw how he looked at her, I’d forgotten. I can feel his face in my expressions again. When he swung down from his perch, I had to squash my urges to go and hug him, instead I left my smile intact and tried to not crowd him. When I was downstairs in the hall, a staff member asked what I came for. I joked, “To see the show, of course, and to discomfit my ex.”

We laughed, but I’m so sorry to say that it’s what happened. I miss his muppet gestures. In my recent cleaning of my room, I found a picture of him from one of our earlier anniversaries. There’s flowers in his hair and ‘I love you‘ written in chocolate on his chest. The rest of it, I dare not say in public, but needless to say, it was rather touching. I’d put up blue lights on the wall over the bed in the shape of a giant heart. It stayed up for months, though every time we had sex, we would tear part of it down.

I found Vancouver’s secret burlesque bar, Saturday. It’s a room fifteen feet wide, and as long as the block is wide. The second floor is a golden balcony overlooking the dancefloor, and instead of a disco ball, there’s a silver merry-go-round horse studded with mirrors. I fell instantly in love. Terry and Ryan and I arrived just as the very last of the burlesque ended, (two minutes of shadows having sex), and soon set up camp upstairs. Terry is especially brilliant, as he is one of those most precious people who continues to be astutely brilliant when proceeding to be drunk. We leaned over the balustrade and shouted communist political slogans at appropriate moments in between dancing ironically and splashing the people below with ice-water and gin and tonic. Within half an hours, I collected an entire stag party, (with phone-numbers), and commandeered a few of them into affixing a fan to a table for me to have a private dance-floor on the balcony. I felt, finally, like I was having the sort of evening that silver_notebook regularly inspires my jealousy with.

I Cannot Stress how much I recommend this!

FYI – for those of you who missed The Heretic at the Fringe, you have a chance to see it. For those of you who have seen it, you have the opportunity to let your friends know that they can still catch it next weekend because it is HELD OVER, Thursday Sept 25 – Sunday, Sept 28: 9pm nightly at the Waterfront. Festival box office is selling our advance tickets, 604-257-0366.

THE HERETIC

HELD OVER AT THE WATERFRONT THEATRE
September 25th to 28th Thursday thru Sunday 9pm Nightly

Tickets are $12 Call Festival Box Office 604-257-0366

Media Contact Jonathan Ryder 604-831-5909

“The writing is clever and sophisticated, the production slick and the acting phenomenal. Easily the best show I saw in this year’s fringe”

-Jerry Wasserman, CBC

TOP 2 PICK! — Georgia Straight Critics’ Choice Award

“For those of us who find ourselves in a very God-haunted world these days, where the acolytes of the Almighty seem to be continually at each other’s and everybody else’s throats, Christian O’Connor’s The Heretic comes as a darkly comic catharsis. This story of a Roman catholic man, tortured by religious anxieties, who resolves to become an ‘evangelical atheist’ could hardly be more timely – of funnier. John Murphy gives a masterful turn in the lead role – and indeed in all the other roles in the play, moving between radically different characterizations with what has almost become his trademark pell-mell precision. This range is remarkably vast, with all the requisite variations in tone and speed to keep watchers riveted. He is supported by a wonderfully witty script (“It’s Yahweh or the Highway!”) that, for all of its boisterous blasphemies, ends up being a rather profound commentary on the nature of the religious impulse itself.” -Bryson Young, Vancouver Sun

“Vancouver actor John Murphy’s wickedly funny one-man revue is so stupefyingly irreverent, we’re probably going to hell just for laughing at it. Murphy aims to be provocative and succeeds.”

-Pat St. Germain, Winnipeg Sun

“…a hilarious script, great acting and a technically superb show. Actor John Murphy’s performance is flawless. The comedy is fast-paced! …with God up in heaven … and humans as his “ultimate reality TV show.”–along with some serious insights into the fear of death.”

-Cheryl Binning, Winnipeg Free Press

“…a wild ride of a play that’s both hilarious and deadly serious. Extremely well written and equally well executed” -Linda Harlos,CBC

“…constantly funny and provocative.”

-Silas Polkinghorne, Saskatoon Star Phoenix

“BRILLIANT! CONTROVERSIAL!

…funny and insightful! …Wildly pleasurable and unpredictable, kind of like a Disney Land rollercoaster ride in the dark!!!…Check your guilt at the door brothers and sisters…”

-101.5 UMFM Radio, Winnipeg

Sliding Images

I’m stuck downloading images to be turned into slides at someone’s house. Gah. Been here all day. It would have been so nice to go to a picnic instead. The only good thing so far has been the playlist on the itunes thingie I found. Now I’ve a bunch of music to go and try to download when I’m home from the http://thisiscorrosion.com/ playlist. *grins*

facing the music