Dear Vapid Stoner Girl Talking on Her Cellphone Right Outside my Window,
You are making me fear for the survival of multiple syllable words. “Like” is a not a comma, “pot” doesn’t have a built-in exclamation point, and ending every sentence with a question mark does not make it sarcastic or more clever.
Girl Old Lady Upstairs Trying Not To Laugh
PS. Please, think of the children when you dress in the morning. They will discover puberty on their own. I promise. That is not a skirt, that is a belt.