When she leaves, she’s just asking to be followed

santapau‘s put me in The Secret Knots!

I feel like the vision of a girl who writes personality, warped and made prettier in water-paint parentheses. The Secret Knots is one of my silver cocaine addictions. I check it every Monday, a wrought iron internet-princess hoping for snow and honey to bleed distraction from Vancouver’s dirty tinsel sky. Of course, Spring has arrived, bringing with it art! weather! joy! and more Secret Knots!

As grateful thanks, I present: The Books.

better security

There’s a new GROW game! This one involves six little shapes interacting in a forest. It’s deceptively simple looking compared to the twisty frustration that’s the GROW Cube, but one of the trickier realizations was that some items can “level max” without fufilling thier final functions.

  • Rhizome.org: Geeks in the Gallery: An Interview with Artists Tom Moody and Michael Bell-Smith (Part Three of Three)

    The Spaces Between Working Group, that I blogged about yesterday, is showing films again tonight after Commercial Drive Car Free Day has packed up. The community cinema’s made under an overhang that’s part of an autobody shop at Third and Commercial. I really like it. The venue was perfect for watching Metropolis. Tonight they’re keeping to the theme of No Car Day and showing End of Suburbia at 5:50, a documentary that asks if the world can actually supply the demands of the suburbanite lifestyle and what can be done before it destroys what’s left, Ikiru at 7:15, Akira Kurosawa’s masterwork about a bureaucratic city planner who discovers he has terminal cancer and, without telling anyone, sets out to change his life, and Run Lola Run at 9:40, which I’m sure you’re all familiar with.

  • The freely downloadable spoken words of Japanese Cyberpunk Author, Kenji Siratori meets the harsh audio of Nimheil: Kenji Siratori – Gene TV / Neo Drugismo vs. Nimheil

  • accented with a wet outlook today

  • Landmines now being cleared with arrows.

    The world gave us snow last night. It paralyzed parts of me. My creature mind went blitzing beyond compare. I wanted to drag my lovely out of bed. Look! I wanted to say. It’s snowing! Come dance with me!

    It was rain by the time I opened my eyes again. Another moment lost to the dark.

    The last time there was such a snow fall was just before New years two years ago. I was walking to the bus with Adrian from my first time at Rowan and Dominique’s house. He took a picture or two, but they didn’t turn out.

  • Aerial signposts point to Scientology’s sacred text storage facility.

    Work has given me extra hours today. I’m going to be working from four until eight. There were no other plans for today. I have no plans all week. It’s surreal, but let me say yes when they asked me if I could come in.

    It’s not that I don’t want plans. I have been trying, but I am still somehow unable to find people.

    Shane and I have been playing an odd phone tag. Congratulations, I want to say, when I pick up the phone instead of the answering machine. Mercy, I am alive and as difficult to find as you are. Poetry rolls over the line, measured as come play poker with me. I don’t know how and nor do you so maybe we can teach everyone else how not to drink so much. It was cold out. I said no but call me later. He did, but now it was too late. My turn to ring.

  • The Vancouver Ridge Theater is closing its doors.

    What the hell are you up to?

    (all the real humans are hiding)

  • new icons when I wrote my newest resume

    I barely know me. I stand in doorways, unblinking, standing and speaking words of conflict. I collapse on the sidewalk in heavy rain and half an hour goes missing. I hold him warmly close to me with a smile in my mind. I put my head to the side and try not to cry. Inside of me, things are changing. I remember compromise. You say this wasn’t your intention, I say that’s okay. You say and I say then they stood up and had too many words to say. Remember, this is what a little bit of love looks like.

    I don’t like that I carry this so she won’t have to.

    Every part disparate. I’m still unbalanced, so much is broken. I’m tidying now, brushing the pieces into a pile for later sorting. Which loss caused this jagged edge, which loss caused that. This year was many. I could make t-shirts. Arrested, Fired, He Lied, They Died. My humour’s the right sort. On the back would be a list like tour dates.

    Which reminds me: support my Jesus Monkey Pants. I have this one. It makes me sexy like Snakes on a Plane would, which is something I meant to mention weeks ago. I have an excuse, I’ve been eating multitudes of candy bars. They’re not very healthy, really, and they’re making my thoughts shake. They popped into existence to fill the space left by the cessation of hallowe’en proceedings and they’re cadbury tasty, which is to say, not as good as pumpkin pie. I miss my pies. I didn’t carve a pumpkin this year, so I didn’t bake. Ah well, the Lesson is Learned but the Damage is Irreversible. (Also an ancient thing, I know, but it fit. You want something new, go find out about the underground city in Briton that’s now up for sale. Then buy it for me. I will send you nekkid pictures. Lolz. Now bugger off.)

    I really should be in bed by now, but I’m waiting for dye to set in my hair. My hands are flecked with purple, a nice reminder of what the bathroom will look like in about twenty minutes. I’m being patient, though I don’t feel like it right now. The bed’s empty, it’s all cold tumbled gold pillows and scarlet bands of silk and I feel like the faster I fall into it, the quicker I can pretend it’s morning. Red shift myself into a different day, one where I might be sleeping next to someone. Alone is not terrific for me now, but I can deal with it. Alone without promise of company, however, is bad.

    Nicholas will be here tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. He and Esme are coming in from Victoria for a concert and dinner at Andrew‘s with me and Ray. He asked for Chris too, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen. I deked out of rehearsal today before I could ask. There were issues with my roommate James that needed sorting, and tonight was really the best time to get it done with.

    p.s. world, send new Explosions In The Sky, Porcupine Tree and Bethurum. thank you.

    my penicillin makes me nervous


    DRE: What’d you spend it on?

    Jhonen Vasquez: Just whores. Whores over on Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica. Whores and robots. Some of the whores were robots.

    ZOMBIES ARE BACK. We have a venue this time. This attack will be a Hallowe’en Dance Party, Monday October 31st, at The Space. (440 West Hastings). Doors at seven, Sean of the Dead at 7:30. Pass on the word. Let it shamble wild and free. More information will become available as I get used to the idea of being a producer.