I was inspiration for the evening and all I wanted was to run my fingers through your hair. The entire cast nodded at “he was an angsty goth boy” and it was beautiful. The synchonicity of sympathy, the moment of “we have all been fifteen”. I felt satisfied with my life suddenly, when I saw for a moment how I could laugh at what I’ve been, who I’ve been with, how I have changed and grown. I am older now, and far more young. It’s a gentle reminder. Yes, I’m having to cling lately, counting blessings like pennies saved by a child, but I still know how to smile.
Whenever I am with him, I think to myself that when I am gone from this persons life or they from mine, I will look back and want a hundred pictures of them, a thousand, to look over and hold close, but then I put the camera down and thumb the power button. I don’t know what to do.
I need to take Robin out more before I go. If anyone has any suggestions, they would be appreciated. We’re going to be going to the poetry slams again, so that’s every second Monday taken care of, but I’m uncertain about our Fridays and I can have him Thursdays as well. This city can be so cold to adventure seekers. One has to trespass or creep along, hiding in corners while security guards go by, and he’s not exactly up to sneaking yet. He’s more of a loudly plodding boy, one who knocks things over and takes ten minutes to climb a fence as high as his waist. I’m not sure how the government would react if they knew of some of the things I’m trying to train him to, but I don’t particularly care. I think running is a requirement in life, and so is getting around people who have been put specifically to keep you out of interesting places. I still need to instill curiosity and we’re trying to have him think for himself. Both are new in peculiar ways, but they seem to be taking. I want Robin to be able to function on his own and not mind doing so. I want him to be able to look outside and think, “I want to do something today,” and then be capable of choosing something and participating in the world in the manner proscribed.