My fingers have grown cold while I’ve been sitting here, ingesting various bits and detritus pieces of news and updates. All of it a few days old and so ancient. Old news, scattered by wind and the constant flow of new information pouring onto the web. People like you and I and us, tip tapping away, quickly, slowly, two fingered or with ten, and always, always adding to the cause, to a place that isn’t real to half the humans on Earth. I live here though, so I don’t mind cold fingers. It’s expected, a side effect of too long with a mouse, too long sitting in one position, but never long enough to learn everything I want to. My eyes almost always give out before my mind. I fall asleep thinking about social equations, how to build an iPod and if I have the capability with my very limited knowledge of electronics, if tomorrow will be the day I hear an apology or tell a secret, if tonight I will wake up in the dark to an unfamiliar body in my doorway whispering, “come”.
And someone asked how I write things down, how I sculpt my words into being, but really, the trick is I speak them. I silently say them out loud to these imaginary trees that use light like paper instead of falling, cut so directly to cypress knees. And yes, that was a terrible pun. And yes, you deserve better, but the window is open, the air says winter, and I’m too tired to argue with my train of thought. Any two cents I toss in will derail it. Flatten the thoughts like atoms destroyed and release a blinding spasm of I should go to bed please.
Also, augh, I left the room for five minutes and my ferret deleted my Dylan Thomas folder in a mad dash across the keys that said YES, DELETE THIS BECAUSE IT IS TOO BIG FOR MY TINY RECYCLING BOX. Darling Chrystalene, would you be so kind as to yousend them to me? I’m feeling unfairly robbed. I did, as a matter of fact, only leave him in the cage for two measly days. This exacting revenge seems a stated overkill. Next I will find messily typed notes, telling me that I either walk him more or the roommate gets it.
*I’ve danced in the water fountains there in my underwear somewhere close to midnight. One of the best stupid things I’ve ever done. I highly recommend it.