Day: October 7, 2004

Cover me in cream and kill me, I’m pissed off. I’m diminished. I am frail and fucking useless.

That slice of bow across strings, cutting and hating. That’s what I’ve got in my wrists. Sheer pitch flinging my teeth to clench. Visceral skull knuckle fuck damn you.

Someone pass me a camera. I won’t hurt it, but I might hurt you.

Javina’s turn to be matyred by a perm marker:

This was done in three minutes. As I can’t find any other inks, I’m caught using only perm marker. I think my supplies are in storage. I’ve no idea what I’m doing. Anyone else feeling masochistic?

I finally gave in.

msn : bloodkrystal hotmail
yahoo: bloodyfoxtongue

I’m here alone but for a crazy ferret who wants to eat my toes.

Post or send me pictures of yourself for me to sketch.

note: this is about my present skill level. Don’t expect anything like how I used to.

For the dreaded meme, I’m going to try another one. This attempt is going to stem from a conversation we had yesterday. Lately she’s been only writing about killing.

For Javina:

The sky is gray today. Gray like it always is here, but I can’t see it. I can only see the violent swirls of colour emanating by the cites residents. Everyone’s thoughts, brainwaves exposed. I’ve learned to live with it, though I don’t have sex anymore. Too much information. My doctor thought I was making it up when it happened. He put me on meds. Didn’t do a damned thing, the meds, just made me slightly crazy. I just quit one day, they didn’t even notice when I stopped updating my prescription. Like they care. The medical community would love what I can see if they knew. Murder is a dark blue. There’s one over there, over to the east of that tall building. I know why he’s done it too, because of the yellow. He thinks it’s because of his mothers constant nagging, but really it’s because he wants the money. Idiot doesn’t even know his own damned brain. Hardly any of them do, actually, except you. Least you’ve pure motives. Ever see that movie Man Bites Dog? Yeah – you remind me of the lead character. Killing for the easy money in it. They banned that one, a few countries. Didn’t like seeing themselves so clearly, I guess. I saw it before it happened, I should try it again sometime. I think you should see it. Come on – let’s go rent it. Right now, let’s go.

meme from kevasangel74

a life worth living

When I think for even a moment that my friend Jay is cute, that’s when I know it’s time for me to lock myself up in a nunnery. My own consciousness has very little to do with the signals. I went over this evening to finally touch base for his birthday. I woke him up so the first hour or so we wandered around eachother in his apartment like characters in a tension ridden relationship play. The girl at the sink, rinsing the vegetables in silence. Her every utterance a question that’s not quite answered. It’s not uncomfortable exactly, but it’s a noticeable uncertainty. Like solitaries having to remember how to interact with other people. Together forever with only ourselves. We made unsuccessful kebabs and watched too much TV. Fascinating thing, though I don’t see attraction beyond anthropology. These days there’s likely nothing there I couldn’t learn elsewhere.

Tomorrow evening Alistair and I scout for locations to do BlitzFilms. He’s got the gear and I have some knowledge of the city. With practise we can likely get set up in ten minutes, as quickly as my old troupe used to. Free movies in parks, alleys and on beaches. Anywhere we can haul the generator. It’s good to be talking AV with someone again. I didn’t know how much I missed it.

bonus: A Ninja Pays Half My Rent