overheard in NYC: Little girl: I’m tired of thinking about ponies! Now it’s time to kill!

candy corn
Originally uploaded by Foxtongue.

Intelligent conversation is good for the release it brings. I am not a joyful girl, I don’t know how to express myself. I have a careful library in my head collecting things I care about, but not in any particular detail. My education is practically non-existent. I’m a highschool drop-out without obviously marketable skills. I was never taught, like so many of you, another language or how to fix something or write something or how to do anything useful, but I can remember. You tell me something, I will keep it. You lend me a book, I will file the words away to dust off when the topic comes up. The input of another mind reminds me that I’m clever, that I can keep up and surpass. I need someone to prod me into illustrating the lack of time on the internet, while pointing out why it makes sense that it also moves faster than social light-speed, because otherwise, I’ll forget that I can. I lapse into only remembering how disordered everything is, how little I’ve actually learned. I’m beginning to suspect it’s a self defense mechanism. Something to do with being angry with the systems currently in place.

Jenn told me today about a woman who’s calling out for articles for her anthology on female geeks. I think it looks like it’s going to be another Go-Grrl empowerment book for people who are old enough to remember being hassled in a computer workplace for being female. Me? I am not the target market. I’m too young. I’ve never struggled with living my gender. Jenn wants me to write for them because, she says, she wishes she could see the world more like I do, claiming they need post-feminists, people who’ve already moved past equality of gender to seeking equality of access to information, but I don’t agree. The book looks like patting the past on the head, like people congratulating themselves on how politically correct they are for not hitting on the secretary without looking at her past fortitude from when they didn’t “know better”. Write about St. Jude overcoming prejudice, not people now who don’t understand that to overcome sexism, they need to ignore the idea that they are doing is special because they are women. Sorry, womyn? w0m3n?

The write-up claims that “More than anything, She’s Such a Geek is a celebration and call to arms: it’s a hopeful book which looks forward to a day when women will pilot spaceships, invent molecular motors, design the next ultra-tiny supercomputer, write epics, and run the government.” ignoring that all these things already happen. I’m reminded of how I want to kick newsboxes when I see a front-page of our “news”paper congratulating a group of young people for being tolerant and pan-ethnic. Thanks, idiots, this is Canada, they didn’t notice until you pointed it out.

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