Month: June 2004

“they taste like paint chips, but tasty paint chips”

  I love when I have moments where everything clicks smoothly into place. The world and it’s strange moments of happenstance. I can feel it in my teeth. When the curve of my smile exactly matches the cello note sweep. Yesterday, there were moments and moments of conversation repeating. Different people with interesting takes on the exact same words and topics, all happening independantly of one another, unprompted. The same words, the exact terms. “I tell you, it’s demons” “there’s this antiquidated word that basically translates to ‘being ridden by a demon’ and it sometimes seems appropriate” “The phone calls are coming from inside the house“

Perhaps it’s Prospero, these conjunctions of idea and fluency all brought on by the dada presence of a giant flaming lizard.

I ran into Guy last night, after walking away showing that, yes, I know you well enough now to do that little thing I do. Earlier in the day CR and Shane had asked me to a show at Cafe Du Soliex for 10, but I don’t even know when that rolled around. I kept time with darkness and wind chill. Was pleasingly shocked realizing I was walking to the Skytrain at midnight. Passing the Cafe, however, on my way to Broadway, I caught CR outside and followed him in. The show was obviously long over, but also a success. There was a knot of people animatedly crushed into a booth in the corner, and so that’s where I drifted over, not actually being able to tell if I knew anyone until 10 feet closer than the door. (I did it earlier at Joe’s – the sudden shock of knowledge – I do not know these people enough to recognize them from twenty feet. Howsoever important, I do not know thier shape and movement. These people are new in my reality.) It was obviously one more evening being happy young artists. I laughed with Shane for a bit before realizing that Guy was there. He was sitting in the booth next over, the ever present young woman holding his hand. He’s doing better than I think he was. Guy didn’t remember who I was at first, and it was bothering him. “Do you have a sister named Jhayne?” A rush of pleasure being able to tell him that, no – I don’t require a sister, knowing I’ve just floored him. I’ve been told frequently lately that I’m looking better, that I seem very different, and it really hits when I’m told by someone who’s known me since I was eight, and twelve, and fifteen, and twenty. The attachment is harder somehow. Not just another night, but one that tells you to dance, you’re free. The cocoon has broken, the pinstripes have stuck

notes in C minor on the day at large

Well – wow. I think I’m moving. By the sounds of life rustling, its not a moment too soon. Dominique and I are slightly scared it may be a minute too late, but I don’t believe there is much I can do about that. Nor that I should have to. We talked today before I went out to meet Gavin. I spent my afternoon with him instead of with the see-through machine, and we went and looked at a place that Darina sent me. (I cannot express to the world at large how much I love LiveJournal. Finally I have a Home with a capital H). So very many warm thanks to you madam!

I met with Robin after school, which had been planned, and we went to see Troy. I was impressed. It was far better than I had been expecting it to be. Horrible epic soundtrack with painful orchestral moments and a few too many slurping kisses, but still – I imagine there are far more students with a grasp of the story now than any other time in the past hundred years.

[this is forced, but I’ll try for you]{teenagers who think angst is cool, so therefore pretend to have read the illiad, but not really, huddling together in the dark secretly imagining themselves to be the hero on-screen. he has dark hair instead though that knife to his throat, that woman in the bed transformed into the girl beside him he’s nervously holding hands with. he wants to feel that strong but doesn’t know how to yet. only this morning he knocked over a glass and it broke on the yellow tile kitchen floor. they are there with a coke and popcorn and feel a crackle when thier fingers touch hers.  at home she has an ageing dog with an embarrasing name like snork, and a secret love of black adder, which none of thier friends understand.}

Robin was dropped off, but not after getting me my giant firelizard. I walked out of the shop with the delightful knowledge that I would be carrying around a four foot scarlet velvet newt for the rest of the day. I don’t imagine many people get to have that moment.

I met up with Shane afterwards, missing him at the coffeeshop and calling, only to find he’d snuck up at me. There wasn’t a plan, so I hatched a quick one. We would to the toyshop and get a whirlygig and play with it in the park. No such luck, as the shop was closed, so we wandered up to the mexican chicken place and had quesidias. That way I wouldn’t be having gelati for breakfast two days in a row. We ran into CR, then went and had gelati anyways. *grins*  The park was nice. The world was making me look good and had provided the whirlygig for us. We each had a turn and had set it down before the little tiny owners came looking for it. The three of them could have been lined up in row for a politically correct poster on cute children. It was adorable in some terrible way I  probably dislike.

 Afterwards, in an upholding of chivalry, I was walked to Joe’s, where I was meeting Marc. He was reading when I came in, but once I was noticed conversation immediately launched, not to end until darkness had fallen, hours later. It was wonderful. So many agreements and miniture arguments that weren’t. We’ve been worrying at crosswise purposes, which still amuses me. Now I worry about entirely different things, but I know it’s alright.

Phew.

So – looks like I’m moving.

one day I want to be able to think like Ray

With a letter like this, how could anyone not Love Ray utterly??

 Alright, I’m working on presents, now how about a day out to make up for the fact I missed the party? Possibilities: Zoo, trip to Victoria?,  Seattle as you suggested (long drive and you’ll need a passport as ID I think), go sailing, go canoeing, wander aimlessly, think of where you might want dinner. If we end up wandering in a city consider picking out a present whilst doing this. That’s likely to be the only way I could ever buy you any clothing (I’m terrible at figuring out which size MY body takes when I’m out shopping and I have it along with me for quick reference. Maybe I’m not my size)

———————————————————————–Ray

I need to be loved, but not wanted?

I love Tom Waits’ whiskey enunciation. “Thought you shaid you’d meet me hat heartattack and vhine” Something about  an underslur there, a slushy sound that would be ugly in a drunk at the bar. He’d grab your arm and call you “sushalille bitch” with his 30 proof breath, but the way it’s sung hits like an old memory of a sunny day where it felt like it was raining. It’s music to paint my nails to.

Ran into Ada today while Gavin and I were out on the Drive. I think he’s warmed to the idea of living there. Friendly people coming up and talking with us helped. The house we went to look at had been rented already, but it’s going to stay slightly memorable because I had to inform the people inside that I didn’t know them before they stopped trying to invite us in for tea. Gelati at Grandview park was nicer though. Sitting and chatting about nothing and everyone. The topic of the day seemed to be obsession, and that’s always thing to talk about when I have a Garden.

(damn thing needs weeding)